The Naked Truth..................scribbles 106

Naked Gringo

 

 

     Contrary to the rumors, it didn't happen. Not exactly. Fact was, I was simply walking out to get my paper, and I happen to have my bath towel wrapped around me. The foreign woman that lives next door to me started howling; “Naked old gringo!!! Naked old gringo!!! Old fool....you run all naked and scare children and pets!”  Lies....all lies!! The towel I had wrapped around me was somewhat thin and clinging, but I was far from being in the raw. That old gossiping mamacita pokes her nose through the blinds every time she hears my front door shut.        

     Seems we’ve been at odds ever since I tossed a handful of crumpled up Alka Seltzers over her back fence one night, and all her noisy damn foreign chickens died the next day bloated to death. Anyhow, as I was walking back to my front door, a brisk breeze whooped by and lifted up the front of my towel. For a chilly shrinking moment, I was totally exposed to my snooping neighbor’s observation. Upon witnessing my love dangler, I heard her swoon and then the noise of her falling off the chair she always used to get a better view. She had seen more than she could mentally comprehend. Shaking my head, I sighed. I knew it wouldn't be long before rumors were flying.

To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (35)

  1. noreia

    Haha! I’d love to see you out in the yard in a towel. You sexy old goat.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Beach towel….maybe.

      August 21, 2014
  2. funfreak

    Your love dangler? Really? Does wifey know about this? Here’s the really funny part……..this, more than likely, is a true story.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Love dangler sounds more masculine than winky wiener.

      August 21, 2014
  3. shinesweet28

    Hahaha nice one…

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank ya.

      August 21, 2014
  4. monicaspeaks

    Fabulous loved it

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thanks sweetie. Nice to see you.

      August 21, 2014
  5. Bettymom

    Oooh, you’re so cuuuute, Uncle! Just makes me want to pinch your cheeks. Your lower cheeks, that is.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I was afraid people would think I was a slut-dude.

      August 21, 2014
  6. sweetpaws

    Oh Uncle charlie I know even with the breeze you have more to dangle than most

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      With my big belly, I’m not really sure.

      August 21, 2014
      1. sweetpaws

        a shed over the tool I have heard of that

        August 21, 2014
  7. WalkinOnSunshine

    You know she would love to be a part of that rumor after she saw what gringo was carrying

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I feel used……..; }

      August 21, 2014
      1. WalkinOnSunshine

        Lol don’t feel used. Felt brand new to me

        August 21, 2014
  8. dreamshadow59

    What can I say??? Hehehehehehehehehehehe….“Love wrangler” Classic Charlie…Hehehehehe…..LOL.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I’m just a walking ‘bad habit’.

      August 21, 2014
      1. dreamshadow59

        Ya know what, I LIKE it!!!

        August 21, 2014
  9. GoldenPig2012

    Well, despite her fantasies and yours, you were covered by more than most women on a beach.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      …..and beached whales.

      August 21, 2014
      1. GoldenPig2012

        Exactly.

        August 22, 2014
  10. withwings

    New favorite nick name, love dangler.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      It has a sentimental meaning to me and the girls I met during the 70’s.

      August 21, 2014
      1. withwings

        I’ll bet. Lots of love dangling

        August 21, 2014
  11. pastormike

    bet your wife thought you should be hung. so did Mamacita…

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Story of my life.

      August 21, 2014
  12. cjb321

    Oooh. Sounds very intriguing. LOL Excellent as always.

    August 21, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank you muchness.

      August 21, 2014
  13. timholzbaur

    Great write!

    August 22, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Well thank ya Tim. Always good seeing you drop in.

      August 22, 2014
  14. Toni55

    I know it has already been said but love the “love dangler”, cannot wait to use that one on hubby !!

    August 22, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      It’s a medical term….I think.

      August 22, 2014
  15. uncle_charlie

    Since I was 23.

    August 21, 2014