The Attack…………......scribbles and bits 103

Philistia

 

“Alright now, let me get this straight,” sighed the skinny detective, “you and your fiancé were taking an evening stroll through the park minding your own business, correct?”

“Yes sir,” whispered the disturbed man.

“And then, the two of you were suddenly attacked by a grizzly bear….correct?”

“Yes sir,” the man wailed.

“Sure it wasn’t a black bear, or Kodiak or even a polar bear?” asked one of the other officers with a refrained smile.

“All I know, was that it was a big friggin bear. It was sudden and then it was over.” The man sat on the park bench close to tears. “Before my poor Philistia even had a chance to scream, it was on her.”

“What did you do during the attack, “questioned the detective.

“Screamed.”

The area of the attack was covered in a gluey mess of blood and four percent body fat. There was a single Jimmy Choo pump, size 8, laying in the grass. Even bloody and covered in ants, it’s styling was exquisite. The detective took a moment to answer his cell phone and then returned to the victim. “You need to understand that your story is difficult to digress. The largest beast in this city park is a flabby squirrel named Snooks. The last time there was a known bear in this area was prior to the battle of Gettysburg and most likely the Yankees ate it.”

“I know what I saw, detective! It was a flippin bear! He killed my Philistia and would have killed me if not for the homeless guy that stumbled out of the bushes singing a Lady Gaga song and scared if off!”

The detective answered another call on his phone. “Well, it looks like you were right sir. There was a bear in the area. It seems that a Panda bear had been rescued from the Chinese embassy by a covert group of PETA agents and placed in one of their unmarked vans. What the fools didn’t know, was that the bear was rabid, and soon the beast turned the PETA agents into hotdog filler, and then escaped to the park. The bear was captured an hour ago by members of the State Department and returned to the Embassy.”

“What do I do now,” whimpered the distraught man.

“Go home and let us take it from here. We’ll be in touch tomorrow, and I‘m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Detective.” The man slowly rose to leave when the detective stopped him.

“You’ll need to leave her head with us.”


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Comments (40)

  1. pastormike

    twisted just isn’t really adequate.. you sure you been taking your meds?

    July 30, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Is it still 1972?

      July 31, 2014
      1. pastormike

        I dunno.. let me look at he calendar I got from the Disco..

        July 31, 2014
  2. sweetpaws

    hahahahaha oh god

    July 30, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I hope you enjoyed.

      July 31, 2014
  3. timholzbaur

    Bwahahahaha…..she must given good “head”….sorry, I had to do it.

    July 30, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Bad boy.

      July 31, 2014
  4. Bettymom

    Love it, love it, love it!

    July 30, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Mega hug to you!

      July 31, 2014
      1. Bettymom

        So – are you really my uncle? More likely, I’m really your aunt …

        July 31, 2014
  5. WalkinOnSunshine

    I love twists that are freakish this way.

    July 30, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I could hardly wait to get to the end to see how it turned out….and I wrote it!

      July 31, 2014
      1. WalkinOnSunshine

        I tell ya it was so abrupt that it was almost downright funny!

        July 31, 2014
  6. cjb321

    My goodness. LOVED it. lol

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank good friend.

      July 31, 2014
  7. funfreak

    Oh, my gosh! Only YOU would think of an ending like that. (well, you and maybe Stephen King!). How could you ruin a good pair of Jimmy Choo’s? Did you have to make them bloody? What a waste.

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Foot fetish issues I’m working to overcome.

      July 31, 2014
  8. tiggers

    Wow just wow Uncle Charlie I may give this one a try

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Jump in Tig and give it your best shot!

      July 31, 2014
      1. tiggers

        I did thanks

        July 31, 2014
        1. uncle_charlie

          Loved it!!!!

          July 31, 2014
          1. tiggers

            and I yours

            July 31, 2014
  9. firewalker

    Wow!

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank ya dude-friend.

      July 31, 2014
  10. TinkerHale

    I shouldn’t have read that…now I’ll have nightmares…ew…you had me all through the story and the last line really took me by surprise!…Looks around to see if there are any bears here…nope, just puppies and a few ghosts haunting the old homestead.

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Watch out for them bear hugs.

      July 31, 2014
      1. TinkerHale

        uncle_charlie: Okay…I will.

        August 01, 2014
  11. yayuki

    perfect I love this… you really have the twisted moment down to perfection…

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Love to write creepy stuff.

      July 31, 2014
      1. yayuki

        I realised and I think it is great…

        August 01, 2014
  12. GoldenPig2012

    Oh, unclecharlie, you have such a dark side.

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      ….come into my parlor…….

      July 31, 2014
      1. GoldenPig2012

        Tempting, so tempting, but……………..I’m busy in my own.

        July 31, 2014
  13. TomasSISI

    Caught me, totally surprised. Spewed my coffee out,

    July 31, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Then my job is done here….

      August 01, 2014
  14. shinesweet28

    wow this is so cool!!!! bravo!!!

    August 01, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank you so much!

      August 01, 2014
      1. shinesweet28

        you’re welcome!!!

        August 01, 2014
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  18. uncle_charlie

    My pleasure, as always.

    July 31, 2014