Morality.......and the man from SPAM........................scribbles and bits #98

SPAM

    spam, alakazam, on the lam, phlegm, problem, Bethlehem, grim, pilgrim, fit and trim, prom, wisdom, magic kingdom, addendum, crumbum, spiced rum.

 

      Fong Lu McCaskey had been a member of SPAM, (Special Political Agents of  Morality), for the last three years. He had been following a malcontent for several days now, but when his target entered a Walmart....everything went south! All of a sudden, his assignment was scram, alakazam and on the lam! McCaskey knew that by losing this particular malcontent, his future with the agency would be no more stable than the regurgitated phlegm of a Moroccan camel. He now had a serious problem.

     Willy Kaczynski had ducked down between the rolls of the plus size Spandex shorts and then quickly changed into a nice pair of sunflower yellow shorts with a mauve halter top. He then snatched up a straw hat with butterflies hanging off the brim. Then, as calm as you please, he waddled out of Walmart, making sure to show as much butt-crack as possible. He blended in perfectly. Once he was out the door, he knew the bewildered SPAM agent would be as confused as a jihadis sneaking around Bethlehem among the other grim Arabs and euphoric pilgrims. He had been followed by several of the liberal morality agents, but to no avail. Kaczynski could not let anyone know where he was going or what his mission was. As a follower of HAM, (Horny and Angry Malcontents), he had trained hard and was as fit and trim as any, not to mention randy, but, still as inexperienced as a prom virgin lacking both experience and wisdom. His alluring outfit had been an addendum to his instructions, but it was not for him to question and he was no crumbum when it came to following orders to the letter. He knew that if he were successful, that 72 free rides awaited him in the Magic Kingdom along with a massage from both Snow White and Mary Poppins.

     Finally, Kaczynski arrived at his clandestine destination. There he stood at the doorway of a secluded establishment, located on a dark and obscure street. Then, cautiously, he walked in. The gay biker bar was full of hairy men, leather and disco music. Kaczynski walked up to the bar and ordered a spiced rum with two crushed cherries. Then, with chilled beverage in hand, he turned to the musk laden crowd and said in a high voice; “So....who wants to karaoke?”

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Comments (25)

  1. hotmessmama

    I want to spend an hour in your head.

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      It tends to get a little moldy.

      June 26, 2014
  2. just-being-myself

    Brilliant!!!!

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Well thank ya!

      June 26, 2014
  3. miss-ranty-pants

    I have a friend on Wordpress and he said to me truly great writing has a beat to it, like a good song. this is a toe tapper!

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank you hon, for the the sweet comment.

      June 26, 2014
  4. sweetpaws

    ha! I think I drank at that bar. I was jealous of some of the outfits.

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Sometimes I feel a little skanky myself.

      June 26, 2014
  5. SEC

    So we’ve uncovered your alter ego have we?

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I’m out of my meds.

      June 26, 2014
      1. SEC

        Oh that explains much

        June 26, 2014
  6. greunie

    You so merit Miranda’s recently posted award of best stories! Made me laugh! made me laugh!

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank you sweetie. Means a lot when you drop by.

      June 26, 2014
  7. pastormike

    got your bubble seriously outa plumb.. helluva write. a JJOAPSYGBK..

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Just a flash-back to my darker years.

      June 26, 2014
  8. tiggers

    your scribbles are always the best

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank you love, that’s sweet.

      June 27, 2014
  9. Bettymom

    I would be terrified to find myself in your mind … it’s scary enough here in mine. Nicely done, Uncle.

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      I have nothing to do with my brain.

      June 27, 2014
      1. Bettymom

        That explains a great deal.

        June 27, 2014
  10. vis4

    as good as ever UC

    June 26, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Thank you my good friend.

      June 27, 2014
  11. cjb321

    As always very good and soo funny! lol

    June 28, 2014
    1. uncle_charlie

      Well thank you muchness!

      June 28, 2014
  12. eill1940

    Nice article. Thanks for sharing this one nice writing with us. You always do a good http://www.ninjaessays.org/. Whenever I need to learn some thoughts of great wise people, I just visit this site it gives me all that I need according to my desires.

    May 02, 2016