meringue, spritz, arpeggio, insidious, trapezoidal, pistachio, mauve, inhale, obituary, armpit, snickerdoodle, colloidal, plunger, farblondjet
Detective Ambrose looked up at the dark meringue of storm clouds that were converging over the private airport like mustard gas over a battlefield. There was the occasional spritz of rain droplets and the deep arpeggio of insidious thunder approaching from the west. The various landing strips of the small airport were interconnected in a trapezoidal configuration running north, west, south and east. Ambrose could see there were only two aircraft and they had been parked along the western runway. There was a light yellow Gulfstream jet belonging to a guinea pig rancher from Peru. The plane’s color reminded him of a hooker with a cheap blond wig. Then there was the small Learjet belonging to the late Emanuel Rosa, the pistachio magnate from Mexico. Rosa’s mauve and yellow striped aircraft stood out like that same blond hooker during morning Mass. Rosa had recently chocked to death while on his plane after inhaling a pistachio, but, his obituary had given the cause of death as cancer of the sweat glands, Armpitius Ordorus. The detective was suspicious as to the cause of death, as Billy William Boragard, the king of southern pecans, had been in a vicious competition with Rosa to acquire the nut concession with Keebler for their new line of snickerdoodles. There had been a swirling colloidal of BS concerning the death and Ambrose was here to plunger out all the facts, and given time, he would eventually flush out the details and then dump it all in the DA’s lap. First, there had to have been witnesses. His suspicions were now tingling as he stared at the far blond jet parked across the runway. He knew guinea pig rancher’s fed their herds great quantities of various nuts and turnips, and there had to be a connection here.
Detective Ambrose was found the next day expired. His obituary later stated that he had died of scalp meningitis contracted from infected dandruff. The truth was, he had chocked to death on a large piece of guinea pig jerky. For the skeptical among you, I did take a few liberties with the facts in that I did change the names and weather conditions.